Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Breathe into this Moment

I am feeling at such a loss right now.  Stopped in my tracks, not knowing what the "right" next move is....my two year old is so "off-schedule" it's not even funny and I am running out of energy as we speak.  He has been up in the night, for hours and hours, night after night and struggles to go down for his nap in the day.  (So this is clearly driving me crazy, as I feel like I haven't slept a wink myself).  He eats a few bites then decides he's had enough (in times like this I am so grateful that he has a g-tube ) and he is not pooping!!!!!!  So I ask myself what is going right?  When your child is not eating, not pooping and not sleeping the entire world feels like it is falling apart around you, at least that is how it feels to me right now.

I am accustomed to being very positive.  Maybe too positive at times (if that's possible).  I consciously choose this path as when I begin to be negative it seems to spiral down and the abyss seems far and dark and scary.  I need to stay here, right here in the now, in this very moment which is in front of my face and breathe, breathe into this moment. And all is well and I can handle what is in front of me now.


tia rosa said...

Hang in there girl! I wish I could make it all better! You are such a great mom, just remember that:)

Lauren said...

Praying for you! I know the feeling sometimes and it is definitely a long hard road to let the bad stuff get the best of you! Praying for hope and refreshing (OH AND SLEEP!!!!)

Heather Joy said...

The day improved with going to a dance class yesterday. Taking an hour break and time for myself to release some of this "normal" stress is just so crucial. Eventhough sometimes there feels like there is not enough time in the day to do this, it makes ALL the difference!!